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View Full Version : Confirming / getting details of a death in America - and a fitting memorial



markat
21st March 2010, 15:31
Hope someone can suggest where to start. I have a virtual friend who I used to e mail, call and text. He posted a fair bit on another forum but contact decreased when he moved from Glasgow to America. He posted on you tube and looking there today tributes and being written after he passed away last month. I know his name approximate age and home town. He was only a young lad and I know the internet is full of rumours so I would like to see what info I can find. Sad to say he has not e mailed or text me since the alleged date of his death. Thanks.

angelic
21st March 2010, 15:49
Do a search for newspapers for the area where your friend lived - both in the US and in Glasgow - you can check obituary notices online by name.

It is worth checking the Glasgow papers in case friends or family still there may have posted an obit.

Sorry for your loss, it is very sad to lose a friend :(

markat
21st March 2010, 15:55
Thank you. No home pc will do that from work tomorrow. He was estranged from his family but will try Glasgow and New York newspapers.

markat
21st March 2010, 16:55
Can anyone advise the local paper for Glasgow ? Can only get on here via mobile at weekends. Thanks.

moosey
21st March 2010, 17:16
The Glasgow Herald I believe.

NitWit
21st March 2010, 17:18
Sorry to hear this :hug: I have done a search and have found http://www.yourannouncement.co.uk/?_fstatus=search;s_source=nqgl_her;type=obit

If you PM me his name, I can take a look for you.

uklego
21st March 2010, 17:24
Hi Markat,
Googling, I found
Glasgow Evening Times
Glasgow Herald

If you would like to pm me his details, I can do some delving

biganni
21st March 2010, 19:10
Hi there, Im from Glasgow area.

Local papers would be Daily Record, Evening Times and The Herald.

If all else fails, I have a friend who works in the registrars dept so could possibly find the details you are looking for that way if you have some details. PM me if you would like me to help. Sorry for your loss.

markat
22nd March 2010, 07:07
Thanks for the messages and replies sadly it was true that he passed away suddenly last month. Will miss his crazy stories he told me about his life. He was quite a character.

Floosy
22nd March 2010, 07:09
Sorry to hear that Mark xxx

Gizmos
22nd March 2010, 07:38
sorry to hear your sad news x

markat
22nd March 2010, 09:03
Thanks to a PM here I have found the obituary notice.
So sad, he was early 20s and I have never met someone so ambitious and full of life.
He had problems with his family, worked so hard to get to America for a new start and was doing so well for himself.
Lovely picture on the obituary. I'm going to miss hearing from him and regret that we never managed to sort out meeting up in person. I'm planning on going to America later this year and the last e mail I sent was to let him know that and that I would be flying into New York and hoped to see him.

princesskerry
22nd March 2010, 10:27
So sorry to hear this news Mark, so young too. x

snailsontour
22nd March 2010, 10:48
Aww, so sorry to hear you got confirmation Mark, big hug xx

MissMolly
22nd March 2010, 10:50
Aww Mark,
so sorry to read this.
x

uklego
22nd March 2010, 14:15
Mark, do we know how he died?

markat
22nd March 2010, 14:22
Mark, do we know how he died?

I don't and I have being trying to find out just so I can hopefully hear that he was not in pain or suffering at all at the end.
I'm not really coping very well - keep re reading the texts and e mails he sent me and looking at the pictures we swapped to update each other what was going on in our lives. Wish I had sent one more text to him or had one last phone call at some silly time in the morning because he forgot the time difference !!

He really was a lovely charming lad - I won't forget him.

uklego
22nd March 2010, 15:39
oh Mark, I am so sorry :hug:

Is there a way of finding out via facebook? perhaps from the obituary you could get some clues as to where to start

Thinking of you :love:

markat
22nd March 2010, 15:55
He was never on Facebook, neither is his sister.
One post on the obituary says they spoke to him in January and he sounded stressed but he seemed himself to me when we chatted then.

Scottishmum
22nd March 2010, 17:24
Awww thats so sad.

Listen, everytime someone dies, I'm sure we've all had a "if only", thats perfectly natural and part of the grieving process. Give yourself some time to grieve and have a cry for your friend.

I hope you find out what happened to allow you to have some closure.

Sending you a big hug. C xxx

markat
22nd March 2010, 20:08
Feeling a lot better now. Had a good dinner and think. Have thanked the fact that I had a good friend and that for many years I was part of his life. I was lucky to have known Gary. Many others never had that privilege.

Gizmos
22nd March 2010, 22:20
a dedication to him wld be apt for you to have the place to go and talk to him

snailsontour
22nd March 2010, 22:41
Feeling a lot better now. Had a good dinner and think. Have thanked the fact that I had a good friend and that for many years I was part of his life. I was lucky to have known Gary. Many others never had that privilege.

The pain you feel is deep because you cared - that is what makes you a special person. On our journey through life we have many experiences and some hurt, and that is because we care about others and caring makes us vulnerable. Yes, you were lucky Mark, and Gary was lucky too, to have had you as a friend. xx

markat
23rd March 2010, 13:21
a dedication to him wld be apt for you to have the place to go and talk to him

Yes - am thinking of a tree or shrub somewhere, just going to have a quick online search for some ideas.

markat
23rd March 2010, 20:18
Well the title of this thread has lost relevance now ! Anyway have found a flowering shrub that can grow in pots. White flowers it the spring and summer and it is described as hardy just like my friend. It is called David - my friends middle name and attracts bees and butterflies. Seems a fitting memorial and reminder.

janice mac
23rd March 2010, 20:20
that sound very apt Mark

sandhabibi
23rd March 2010, 22:20
Thinking of you Mark, sorry it has been confirmed now...

markat
24th March 2010, 08:54
Thank you to a mod for updating the thread title.

Gizmos
24th March 2010, 10:27
Thank you to a mod for updating the thread title.


just thought it a bit more info so people could see the thread had evolved

uklego
27th March 2010, 15:13
You can also dedicate 3 trees through The Woodland Trust
AND
they are on clubcard deals :D

markat
25th June 2010, 16:00
Just a little update that I wanted to share;

I have been in touch with Gary's parents after an open invite from his obituary site.
I'm grateful to have a fuller picture of what happened and what he went through; Gary had begun a relationship in America, when this ended the parents of his OH became most unpleasant towards Gary and set out to cause trouble. it transpires Gary's visa had expired around this time. His exes parents arranged a "meeting" in their words to "try and smooth things out". The nice guy that he was he attended as he hated conflict - upon arrival at the meeting point the police were waiting and Gary was arrested and kept in jail for 30 days. He did not contact any friends that could help or his estranged family during this period.
He was deported back to Scotland after his sentence and seemingly unable to face the life and the place had worked so hard to escape from he took his own life upon his return.

Got a tear in my eye typing this - I don't condone him letting his visa lapse, in one of our last conversations he spoke of his plans to get US citizenship. Such a sad way to lose such a wonderful young man.

Deejay74uk
25th June 2010, 16:06
thats so sad markat x x

connorsmummy
25th June 2010, 16:08
Mark that is so sad, I am sorry for the loss of your friend xxx

Mamzie
25th June 2010, 20:16
that is really sad, he must have felt so low, ((((())))

Gizmos
25th June 2010, 20:27
so sorry hun - I know how hard it was for you to type that and to make contact - sad that these people have acted like this and forced such a wonderful man to to take the action he did

Polo
25th June 2010, 20:33
oh mark, thats awful. So sad, big hugs xXx

markat
25th June 2010, 23:17
Took a lot of courage from me to contact his parents. But I wanted to know the story - knew they disapproved massively of our friendship. Will never forget him and grateful I made the contact. Apologies for chatting on !

Floosy
26th June 2010, 08:14
Awww Markat at least you will have some closure on the story, Im so sorry xxx

uklego
27th June 2010, 08:18
Took a lot of courage from me to contact his parents. But I wanted to know the story - knew they disapproved massively of our friendship. Will never forget him and grateful I made the contact. Apologies for chatting on !

Soz to ask but why?

markat
24th January 2011, 22:04
Sorry to bump this but close to anniversary of his passing. Know you never knew him but just helps me to share him here with friends. Such a lovely friend to me.

Gizmos
24th January 2011, 22:16
Sorry to bump this but close to anniversary of his passing. Know you never knew him but just helps me to share him here with friends. Such a lovely friend to me.

his memory will live on in all those who had the pleasure of being his friend. reflect on the memories you have and he will never seem far away
:hug:

snailsontour
25th January 2011, 11:42
Aww Mark I can't believe it's coming up for a year now. What a good friend you are to remember and celebrate Gary's life. How is David getting on? It will soon be spring and he will be due to flower won't he. Sue xx