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Thread: Merry Christmas from HSE

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006

    Default Merry Christmas from HSE

    Please have a Merry Christmas by following the simple rules below sent by HSE!

    Anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

    Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

    Following last year's well publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R T Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R T Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

    While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines as set out by the Inland Revenue and all gifts must be registered for tax purposes. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages.

    It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

    Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Child Services has been advised and will be arriving someday.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    Love it - thanks for sharing.

  3. #3


    love it, merry xmas to you too

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Glitching somewhere nearby


    Ha, Ha, love it
    Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy - Groucho Marx

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007


    ebay challenge - target - 150 got - 140

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2010


    Good stuff!

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